eschatological | [psl] post-mortem; closed to @destinymaker

Entry tags:

[psl] post-mortem; closed to @destinymaker

[ This office has always been quiet, but now the silence is unnaturally absolute. The usual ambient sounds have all vanished — the muted rumble of feet and serious voices beyond the door, the hum and crackle of electronics, the omnipresent pulse of Aprilius’s environmental support systems. But, then again, there’s no reason for the environmental support systems when the familiar noises of breath and heartbeat have ceased as well.

Two armies of chess pieces lie toppled and abandoned on the floor, leaving the low table bare save for the empty board. Rau sits languidly on one of the two wide sofas with his chin in a gloved hand. Even though he’s corporeal now (or as corporeal as anything in this scene, which is to say, gentlemen of the jury, ambiguously), the dim light and the white of his mask and uniform combine to give him an uncanny, still-ghostly appearance. He shows no interest in the scattered chess pieces. Instead, he is waiting very patiently, intently, for.... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Gil exhales. A small smile re-enters his features. What a silly little test. ]

You're right here.

[ To illustrate, he raises a hand and runs it over Rau's back - from the neck down to the small of it. ]

I cannot see you, but I can feel you, smell you, hear your breath... You're all around me.

[ He can't taste him, but Rau may have that covered on his end. ]

[ Rau arches into the touch with an almost-imperceptible sigh. He cranes his neck so that his breath will tickle at Gil's ear. ]

Not all around you.

[ Interesting. Now that the ice has been broken for good, physical affection is getting much better responses than anticipated. Gil laughs. ]

All in due time.

[ It really is too bad that even with his absolute best efforts and many sleepless nights, Gil could not have brought Rau's living body to this level of comfort. A thought that holds equally true for horny and for sentimental reasons.

What a segue in conversational tone, though. ]

This is... one way to assuage my insecurities, for sure.

[ It's too amusing to keep dwelling on anxiety, at least. ]

You can continue hypothesizing, and I can continue experimenting, [ he drawls, as though the hand on his back was nothing. ] It's not sight or touch or taste individually. [ His hand slips away from Gil's eyes, and Rau brushes a forefinger over Gil's lower lip instead. They went plenty of time without touching, to say nothing of tasting. ] Smell seems unlikely.

[ He folds his hands over Gil's chest again, rests his head on them, looks at Gil with innocuous seriousness. ]

It could be hearing. But you'd be bored if I were quiet, in any case.

Terribly so.

[ Gil nods, and puts some playful emphasis on the words, but it is true.

He's long ceased to be able to exist without their conversations - a desire so forceful it either tied Rau's soul to his or caused him to hallucinate a whole lot. Maybe both, in some irritatingly intertwined mixture. ]

You're quiet when listening to me though, so we have that one covered. Unless the ambient noise of your breath is our tether...?

[ Doubtful, but pretty romantic as a thought. Gil runs his hand in lazy circles over Rau's spine, not with with any real intentionality behind it. It's just nice. ]

I think not, unless first-generation Coordinators were fixated on genes for particularly superhuman hearing.

[ That touch is a bit distracting, but he can't really complain when he was doing the same thing to Gil's chest a moment earlier. ]

You can't rule out distance.

[ Is it a quasi-scientific observation or an invitation to stay like this? Both, given that Rau still can't be bothered to get up. If Gil stopped talking, Rau might be bored, but he also might just fall asleep. ]

Maybe I should hold your hand for the rest of our afterlives, just in case.

[ Can't get too far away if you're literally attached to each other!!

He doesn't mean it, though. They'd both find that kind of stifling proximity to be absolutely unbearable. Gil shakes his head mildly, still smiling. ]

It's truly unfortunate that curiosity is going to get the better of us sooner or later.

I'm beginning to doubt your scientific rigor.

[ Mostly deadpan, with extra dead. "Just in case," uh huh. He lowers his head again, so that his arms are the only thing between it and Gil's chest. ]

That shower is at least as pressing as curiosity. If you're expecting a shower nearby, that is.

I am. Though... if my expectations are based entirely on my real knowledge of the place, it might be a bit of a walk of shame.

... provided one feels shame for this, which I am currently lacking.

[ Nothing's ever been as right and as deserved as falling into a heated pile with Rau Le Creuset. Sue him.

And do other dead souls even frequent this place? If they leave the room, maybe. But this office? That is a sacred place designated only for them. Gil can't imagine it any other way, nor would he ever will it differently.]

But for experimentation's sake, we should decide on a familiar bathroom and envision it as we head for the door. Maybe we can take a shortcut.

[ Because they're skin-to-skin and only because they're skin-to-skin, Gil will feel the faint flex of muscle as Rau stifles a laugh at that -- otherwise, it just manifests as a small huff of breath. ]

Quite literally, "wishful thinking."

[ But despite the teasing words, he's clearly interested. There's a thoughtful pursed thinness to his smiel, and his eyes -- he's still out of practice remembering to be disciplined about what he does with his eyes -- are slightly narrowed, watching Gil carefully to gauge whether he really thinks it's worth testing. ]

[ Rau should always be laid bare to him like this. Gil doesn't think he'll ever get tired of watching his minute reactions. ]

Precisely. And the worst that can happen is that we'll feel about as sheepish about it as we would have in life.

[ So yes, he does think this is worth testing. Having a perfect 1:1 geographic recreation of Aprilius One in the metaphysical sphere really seems just as likely or unlikely as being able to impact their environment with their thoughts. ]

And though you seem convinced that this is primarily my realm, I wouldn't discount the impact of your consciousness just yet, so I'd say for a first test we should coordinate and pick the same target.

[ If that is successful, solo teleportation experiments should follow. But for now... ]

You're a bit more familiar with my house on Mendel than my current one, but I still vote for the latter.

[ We're not going to shower on Mendel, that's just weird. ]

But I had such an interesting time returning to Mendel.

[ His attention has snagged on the place for a moment. The words are deliberately lazy and his mouth slips into a very benign and very artificial smile, but at the same time Rau's nails dig into skin and his shoulders tense, just a bit. An interesting return, but intense and not altogether good. This position is relaxing but terribly bothersome for a conversation; so many of his lifetime of tricks for masking his mood are useless. ]

[ Gil doesn't know what exactly happened to Rau on Mendel during the war. Rau was already such a distant figure then, consumed by fighting and rarely in touch... It was a time when Gil felt like Rau was slipping out of his hands, when he no longer felt certain what Rau was thinking...

Very unlike now, when the tension is perfectly obvious and Rau's body is an open book. ]

The situation is interesting enough already. We can spare that bit of excitement.

[ Gil's tone is perfectly even, not betraying any concern.

To Gilbert Durandal, Mendel had simply been a workplace. A colony he'd lived and researched on for a few years. Nothing about it disgusts him viscerally, even as he'd walked to work past fetuses in formaldehyde.

But Rey had nightmares about it, when he was little and just came to live with Gil. Gil remembered sitting at his bedside until he fell back asleep.
And Rau hates it with every fiber of his being, the birthplace of all his misery.

No, Mendel may not disgust Gil in the same way, but he holds no love for a place that causes his precious people so much anguish. They don't need to return, not even in their minds.

Gil runs his hand up Rau's spine, coming to rest on his shoulders. ]

The only thing left to expect of that place is its complete collapse anyway.

[ Rau arches up into the touch over-exaggeratedly. His smile stretches real and wide and glinting with teeth for a moment before it shifts into a deliberate, calculated frown. Mendel really gets his inner drama queen going -- a temple to unfettered desire and yet so spectacularly mundane, simultaneously a vehicle for myopic fear of death and for relentless optimism about the potential of the species as a whole, a place where dreams were bought and sold. What a wonderful, sordid microcosm of humanity. ]

All your fascination with "destiny" and you don't want to hear what happened at that place.

[ His voice is affectedly, theatrical playful, inviting Gil to follow him down the rabbit hole. The same way he lured Mu and Kira into the core laboratory facilities, really, just less voluminous. And with fewer bullets, although his nails are still sharp against Gil's skin. ]

And here I was, trying not to pry. I should have known better.

[ Gil does not need a whole lot of bait to go down that rabbit hole. He's been wondering for quite a while - knowing that there was a major battle with the Three Ships Alliance right there at Mendel, knowing that Rau was there... How could he not have contemplated the event? He'd been meaning to ask Rau personally, way back when. A naive little intention, soon to be crushed. In reality, he'd never meet Rau alive again. ]

Tell me, then. What happened, Rau? A place of encounters. The colony where we first met. How did it go, your final return?

[ Two can play at being overdramatic. Gil's always been fond of pathos anyway.

But he'll settle to listen, attentively clinging to Rau's every expression while his fingers idly run through the tips of his hair. ]

[ Oh no, hm, he has once again slightly miscalculated -- Gil has such an inconvenient ability to yield sincerely and apologetically where a less confident person would push back and bluster. Rau would very much like to tell Gil about the wildly improbable (fated, destined!) encounter with Mu and Kira. The drama! But he's not interested in having that conversation while naked, that's just too weird.

He frowns in a slightly unfocused way that makes clear that he's more fussed by the predicament than with Gil's words or actions in particular, then shrugs slightly. ]

You'll need to get up, first.

[ At this point, they have cooled off enough that getting up, cleaned and dressed is starting to sound actually appealing. ]

Well, I would. But you happen to be on top of me.

[ Signaling his actual intent to leave their cuddlepile, he removes his arm from Rau with one last teasing poke to his side. ]

[ Rau swats Gil’s hand away lazily without looking down. Gotta flex that enhanced spatial awareness somehow. ]

I know, I know.

[ It hasn’t been unpleasant to stay like this, but Rau can’t (won’t) linger after Gil has called him out on it. Time to make a clean break. With no warning other than a near-inaudible sigh, he pushes himself up and back in one fluid motion, so that he comes to rest sitting up straight near the far end of the couch. After being badgered into action, Rau isn’t particularly sentimental about the loss of contact -- but he does keep a watchful eye on Gil, because he expects some entertaining emotions on that face. ]

[ Rau isn't mistaken. The moment Rau's warmth fades and cool air envelopes Gil, he furrows his brows in an unhappy little frown. It's a reaction he'd have no trouble suppressing if needed be, but there's no reason to put on too much of an act around Rau. Rau dropped the literal mask, so Gil will drop the metaphorical one in turn.

With a little groan, he sits up as well and smoothes his tangled hair out of his face. His frown deepens. He's got a brush in a desk compartment, maybe he should make a pitstop there.

Gil doesn't really like looking messy, nor does he want to put on his old clothes before washing himself, but... on the offchance of meeting the soul of Patrick Zala, it's better to not walk to the door naked. Time to fish his underwear off the floor and at least put on the lower half of his outfit.

Finding Rau's undershirt on his side of the couch, he tosses it over. ]

Catch.

[ Caught. ]

Oh? Not willing to face the unknown looking out of sorts?

[ Rich coming from someone who typically wears a mask and gloves, but Rau reaches over and runs a finger down Gil's neck to his heart, retracing the path that his teeth scraped over soft, pale skin, and the deliberate mark left over the heart. He smiles mildly, like he's giving the most sincere, well-intentioned advice and not indulging in smug shit-stirring at all. ]

Don't forget about those.

[ Careful now, Rau, someone might misconstrue you for a romantic if you keep indulging in gestures like this. It makes Gil grin, not thrown off his game in the slightest. ]

Oh, please. Those I'd show off if I were able.

[ No shame in this walk of shame. Not for the sex part, anyway.

The idea of walking into work with hickeys plainly visible on his neck is unrealistic, solely because he wears high collars by habit, but it is also highly amusing. Makes Gil wonder if anybody would be brave enough to comment He doesn't doubt he'd be able to play it off and come out the winner, in any case. ]

Scandalous. I'm not sure how you managed to get elected to anything.

[ He tucks his hair behind his ear and puts a hand to his neck for a moment, evaluating the marks that Gil left there. Yep, he's fair-skinned enough that those will be visible as well. He shrugs faintly and reaches for pants. If they're going to run into anything else sentient, it's time to find out whether the Venn diagram of "people who won't comment on wearing a mask" and "people who won't comment on bite marks" is a perfect circle. ]

I'm personable and I have sincere ideals. Isn't that enough?

[ Gil chuckles, clearly facetious. His election strategy was a bit more involved than just banking on natural charisma, even despite a sincere belief that he is destined for leadership in some form. (He's seen his own genetic profile, he's got the receipts!)

He finishes getting dressed pretty quickly. His legs still feel the tiniest bit wobbly when he gets up, but he doesn't remark on it. ]

[ Rau straight-up laughs. Not unkindly, just delighted. ]

And a shameless manipulator.

[ Putting on pants doesn't do much to make Rau look any less disheveled, not when there are still little wisps of hair stuck to his face with cooling perspiration and bites along his neck. Clothes are plausible deniability at best. He stands and taps Gil's lips with a finger with mock-thoughtfulness, still smiling. ]

The sincerity and shamelessness are the most dangerous parts.

Ah, but you make me sound so devious.

[ Which he is.

But he's gotten so good at deflecting about it that it's hard to turn it off. You can only spend so long gaslighting others about your true nature until it becomes almost uncomfortable to stop and honestly admit that you're a conniving bastard. When Gil admits to it at all, it has to be cushioned in a playful sense of sarcasm. (Because he's also a good person, always a person with noble goals. Isn't that right?) ]

It's just easy to be shameless when you're sincere.

[ Feeling shame means doubting the actions you take and the path you are on. Far be it from Gilbert Durandal to experience a feeling like that. He may feign embarrassment and humility for sympathy of outsiders, but it's all just part of the game that he likes to win.

Gil holds out his hand for Rau to take. He was kidding about permanent hand-holding, but now he just feels like being provocatively shameless in his own way to prod for reaction. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject