[psl] post-mortem; closed to @destinymaker

[eschatological]

[ This office has always been quiet, but now the silence is unnaturally absolute. The usual ambient sounds have all vanished — the muted rumble of feet and serious voices beyond the door, the hum and crackle of electronics, the omnipresent pulse of Aprilius’s environmental support systems. But, then again, there’s no reason for the environmental support systems when the familiar noises of breath and heartbeat have ceased as well.

Two armies of chess pieces lie toppled and abandoned on the floor, leaving the low table bare save for the empty board. Rau sits languidly on one of the two wide sofas with his chin in a gloved hand. Even though he’s corporeal now (or as corporeal as anything in this scene, which is to say, gentlemen of the jury, ambiguously), the dim light and the white of his mask and uniform combine to give him an uncanny, still-ghostly appearance. He shows no interest in the scattered chess pieces. Instead, he is waiting very patiently, intently, for.... ]

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[destinymaker]

[ Ah, right. Gil frowns for just a second, then shrugs. ]

I've decided to trust the strength of my desire. Someone told me that it's an untameable part of the human experience, after all.

[ There's still a baseline anxiety about separation that will linger until its cause assumption has been disproven, but Gil will swallow it down. Though he's a careful planner, he did not get to where he was in life without taking some risks. He shouldn't start to let fear control him now. ]

Take your time. I'll go find us a change of clothes.

[ If his shower products are still here, it stands to reason so is his wardrobe. ]

[eschatological]

[ Rau showers really fast and steals a bathrobe chuckles at that, though not disapprovingly. Having his words thrown back at him is funny, and honestly this isn't a bad test of whether distance is an existential threat -- if either of them starts to feel like they're going to stop existing, Rau can just get out of the shower with no harm done other than a wet floor.

But, joking aside, he cleans up quickly and unfussily and wanders out in a towel a few minutes later. Rau's particular brand of drama just isn't "linger for a shower scene" drama. ]

[destinymaker]

[ It's strange, walking through his own old house suspended in time. A place that does not exist anymore, from a time that cannot be returned to. The ghost of his own younger self seems like it's creeping up on him, lingering around every corner. Every the sentimental man, Gil can't help but dwell on the feeling a little as he walks towards the bedroom wardrobe with leisurely steps. This is a place he came to after an ending, and it turned into the place where everything would begin.

It's also, thankfully, a place that contains a variety of pants and dress shirts. By the time Rau makes it out of the bathroom, Gil is waiting for him with a stack of clothing in hand. It's just black pants and a white shirt, business casual to the max. Clean underwear and plain white socks also provided. ]

Pleased to confirm your continued existence. Here you go.

[ It's going to be really weird seeing Rau in civilian clothes again (the sight had been rare enough even back in the day) - weird enough that he doesn't even feel like focusing on the fact that it's his clothing specifically. ]

[eschatological]

[ Rau takes the clothes -- he'd prefer hardy uniform fabric, but his childhood has left him perfectly capable of playing posh, probably even better than most of the old LOGOS cabal. And if Gil's pants are a little tight, well, he's not going to dignify that by bringing it up.

But hmm, hmm, the chatterbox has been quiet, and without even the excuse of showering. ]

Have you been brooding?

[ Rau has been strategizing about practical ways to efficiently prod the boundaries of reality, thanks, very different from brooding. ]

[destinymaker]

[ The question is so straightforward and without warning that it catches Gil off guard. Should he be flattered or unsettled that Rau can read variations in his behavior that he himself isn't aware of?

Gil frowns and the confusion once again vanishes from his face entirely. ]

Reminiscing, perhaps. This is an interesting intersection of past and future after all.

[eschatological]

[ What's the point of being an off-brand Newtype if you can't figure out that a talker going quiet means feelings? Rau's lips curve into a smile. ]

Of course, you think there must be a "future."

[ Rau can do existential banter while pulling on pants, what a multi-tasker. He starts toweling his hair rather than putting a shirt on, though, so Gil will get the benefit of another minute or two of looking at him shirtless -- and the marks he left down Rau's neck. ]

And if we can only wander through old memories?

[ The thing is, Mendel isn't a bad place to test a "future." If there is room for innovation and progress and change, it will be here, at this locus of humanity's dreams. If there is life after death, they will find viable embryos offered up by desperately hopefully parents. And if everything is frozen and unmoving, only a photograph of a place -- well, then they will have learned something. ]

[destinymaker]

Then you and I will still be here.

[ Gil was going to go into the shower next, but now he's leaning against the bathroom doorway instead, immediately distracted by this line of conversation. ]

Even if the world that keeps on spinning for the living is out of our reach and we're confined to facsimiles of our pasts, we still experience linear time for now. As long as we're still making new memories, we also still have a future we're moving towards.

[ A few hours ago, he was alive. An hour ago, he kissed Rau for the first time. Now he's here, watching him get changed. A nice and orderly progression of events that has not yet reached its end point.

If there is nothing to change but themselves, well... That just means they're faced with a most difficult problem to work through. ]

And as long as that future exists, I will seek more to offer to you.