[ That is a lot of words and feelings and it visibly takes time for Rau to think through them. It’s a striking contrast to his usual capacity for a quick, sharp response.
Rau has operated under the conclusion that Gil considered Rau’s tigerish inclinations to annihilate as something to be dulled and filed down and buried. That when Gilbert Durandal dreamed a utopia in which humanity’s desire was tamed by wisdom and power, he dreamed a tamed version of Rau -- Talia’s loyal opposition, if not Rey’s near-unconditional support. (This makes it reflexive to invoke Talia to needle, though it is a disservice to her, alas.) Rau would have scratched and bristled at that impossible dream for as long as death lasted. But.
It is something else entirely to be told that the claws and striving are the draw rather than something to be endured or blunted. It’s rather disarming, actually, particularly when juxtaposed with Rau’s critical view of his own existence. It would be so easy to deal with feeling off-balance by meeting candor with deflection and indifference, but it would also be glaringly, irritatingly cowardly .... and, in any case, acceptance of the tendency toward destructiveness somewhat dulls the inclination to be destructive. ]
Good grief.
[ He folds his open palm around Gil’s hand, accepting what has been offered, even if he is not similarly inclined to lay himself out under glass at the moment. ]
Forget hypocrisy. What is done out of love always occurs beyond good and evil.
no subject
Rau has operated under the conclusion that Gil considered Rau’s tigerish inclinations to annihilate as something to be dulled and filed down and buried. That when Gilbert Durandal dreamed a utopia in which humanity’s desire was tamed by wisdom and power, he dreamed a tamed version of Rau -- Talia’s loyal opposition, if not Rey’s near-unconditional support. (This makes it reflexive to invoke Talia to needle, though it is a disservice to her, alas.) Rau would have scratched and bristled at that impossible dream for as long as death lasted. But.
It is something else entirely to be told that the claws and striving are the draw rather than something to be endured or blunted. It’s rather disarming, actually, particularly when juxtaposed with Rau’s critical view of his own existence. It would be so easy to deal with feeling off-balance by meeting candor with deflection and indifference, but it would also be glaringly, irritatingly cowardly .... and, in any case, acceptance of the tendency toward destructiveness somewhat dulls the inclination to be destructive. ]
Good grief.
[ He folds his open palm around Gil’s hand, accepting what has been offered, even if he is not similarly inclined to lay himself out under glass at the moment. ]
Forget hypocrisy. What is done out of love always occurs beyond good and evil.